Courtney Nahow, LMHC-D, LPC
Licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut
Childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on how you see yourself, navigate relationships, and respond to everyday challenges.
Early experiences of emotional neglect, criticism, inconsistency, or difficult family dynamics contribute to anxiety, low self-esteem, people-pleasing, and recurring relationship patterns in adulthood.
Through online therapy, I help adults in New York and Connecticut explore the root causes of their struggles, process unresolved emotional wounds, and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.
Together, we can work toward greater self-understanding, emotional resilience, and lasting healing so you can move forward with more confidence, clarity, and connection.
How Complex Trauma Can Show Up in Adulthood
Complex trauma doesn't always come from one significant event. It can also develop through repeated experiences that leave you feeling emotionally unseen, unsupported, or alone.
These experiences inform how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you respond to challenges later in life. You may not even realize the connection until later, once these patterns start to make more sense.
You might recognize yourself in some of these experiences.
Emotional Neglect: When Your Emotional Needs Go Unmet
Emotional neglect can be hard to name, but its impact is real. We tend to think of trauma as something that has happened, but neglect is about what didn't happen.
This can be hard to recognize because it often looks like nothing. People might come to therapy and say, "Well, I had everything that I needed. I had a roof over my head. I had food. I had a great Christmas, great holidays."
But emotional neglect happens when your parents or caregivers ignore your emotional needs.
For adults, this can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and others, and lonely even when you’re around a lot of people. These patterns often show up in close relationships, romantic relationships, work settings, and family dynamics.
As a therapist specializing in complex trauma, I help adults process and heal childhood trauma caused by neglect and abandonment.
Abandonment: When You Learn to Handle Everything Alone
When folks think of abandonment, they usually think of someone leaving. Yes, it can look like that, but it can also mean emotional absence.
For example, a parent or caregiver may be physically present but emotionally absent. It can mean having a parent who doesn't show interest in your emotional world. Or having to go through something difficult as a child and having to process those emotions alone.
These are a few ways you may have experienced abandonment. It's a conversation that comes up a lot with folks who come to therapy. Because these experiences have a real impact, even if they’re harder to name. And so many people don’t realize this is part of their story until they start counseling.
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Overfunctioning: Working Hard to Keep Your Feelings Hidden
Sometimes overfunctioning slips under the radar. You move from task to task with barely any breaks. But what looks like productivity could actually be survival mode in disguise.
Overfunctioning is about keeping yourself so busy that you get little or no rest. It can serve as a way to avoid certain feelings or prove your worth without you realizing it.
The quiet moments between tasks typically reveal how much you’ve been carrying this whole time.
Overfunctioning can also look like saying yes to things because you can technically fit them into your schedule. But just because you can doesn't mean you should.
You might not even realize how much you’re doing for everyone else without anyone noticing.
Here are some subtle ways overfunctioning shows up in your daily life.
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Filling every free moment with tasks, even when you could rest.
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Constantly noticing tension, discomfort, or problems around you and trying to fix them without anyone asking you to.
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Prioritizing others’ needs, feelings, or comfort over your own, even when it costs you.
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Taking responsibility for outcomes that aren’t yours just to avoid conflict or disappointment.
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Pushing through emotional or physical discomfort to keep things stable for others.
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Over-apologizing or carrying guilt for things outside your control.
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Internalizing stress instead of asking for support, so things “run smoothly.”
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Feeling that you have to get back to someone immediately instead of pausing to breathe.
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Not expressing your boundaries because you don't want to upset or disappoint anyone.
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Taking pride in keeping everything together, even when you feel quietly exhausted.
The biggest sign of all? You do all of this quietly, and it feels invisible.
But noticing your behavior is the first step toward caring for yourself the way you care for others.
Therapy can help you understand what drives these patterns, notice when you're taking on too much, and start making room for rest, boundaries, and your own needs.
How Trauma Therapy Helps You Understand & Overcome These Patterns
When you've spent years putting others first, staying busy, or using work to cover up difficult emotions, change might feel impossible.
Maybe you know that you're exhausted, but can't slow down. Or maybe you see that certain relationships aren't meeting your needs, but you don't know how to set boundaries or express your true feelings.
Therapy can help you understand where these patterns come from and how you can start shifting them.
Together, we'll explore your early emotional experiences, process unresolved emotional wounds, and identify healthier ways of relating to yourself and others. You'll have space to better understand your feelings, name your needs, and change the pattern.
This isn't about blaming your family or judging the ways you've learned to cope. It's about making sense of your experiences and recognizing that you don't have to keep coping the same way.
Over time, you will deepen your emotional resilience and build more confidence in your relationships and everyday life.
EMDR Therapy for Complex Trauma
Sometimes, you can recognize your patterns and still struggle to change your reactions.
Intellectually, you know you're safe in the present. But you still feel anxious or overwhelmed in certain situations.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy approach that helps process difficult memories and experiences that still affect you.
As an EMDR therapist, I work with adults to process past experiences and break the patterns that keep them stuck. EMDR helps reduce the emotional impact difficult memories have on you so you don't have to carry them anymore.
Don't worry, we'll work collaboratively at a pace that feels right for you. My goal is to support you throughout.
Begin Online Trauma Therapy in New York, NY
I offer online therapy for adults in New York, NY, who are ready to explore the impact of complex trauma and work toward healthier relationships with themselves and others.
If childhood experiences still affect how you see yourself, relate to others, or move through everyday life, therapy is the perfect environment to take a closer look.
We will start with an initial consult, where you can share what brought you to therapy and what you'd like to work on. You can ask me any questions about the process and how I support clients. That way, you can get a feel for what it's like working with me. We'll then create a plan for goals, session frequency, and scheduling.
Ready to take the next step?
Schedule an initial consultation and learn more about working together.
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